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Posts tagged "lol"

Why I Still Use The Oxford Comma


Why I Still Use The Oxford Comma


My buddy recently broke up with his girlfriend. He sent me this screen shot of his phone this morning. They are all from her. (via)

Dude. Run.

(via dutchster)


Anatomy of a sneak attack

This is all very true!



Pretty accurate for my mood right now.

(via dutchster)

Funniest thing ever, or funniest thing ever?


Futurama Fry

Today I went out to lunch with two of my friends/former co-workers. Because we are awesome and lame, we all ordered the exact same thing…literally. Including the little side of cheese dip.

Except my one friend, A, orders the cheese dip a bit after the fact, and isn’t rung up for it. She attempts to pay cash but the manager wants her to wait in the line that has now formed even though she’s standing in front of the register, so she tells the manager to forget it. The manager huffs and puffs but tells her to just go ahead and take it for free. 

My name’s called and I go up to get my tray… no cheese dip. I say “hey, what’s up, where’s mah cheese?” Manager says, “it’s not on your receipt.” I say, “uh… well, I ordered it and he hit the button and I was charged for it, so…” and she says “well, he forgot. It’s not on your receipt.” I say, “fine, whatever, I’m not going to stand here and argue about cheese.”

At this point, I don’t know the above transpired between my friend and the manager.

I take my tray and go to where my friends are now sitting and begin eating. I look at my receipt. Huh, that’s funny. I paid with a Visa, not with a Master Card. This isn’t my receipt. 

I show my friend, who STILL doesn’t tell me about the above exchange (but is happily eating “her” cheese dip), says, “hey, that’s my card number.” And we go up to the register. She wants to make sure she wasn’t charged twice and I want my receipt because I’m the kind of nerd who writes things in my check register.

It’s figured out what happened (basically the name-writer took both of her receipts and wrote names on them and put both of my receipts in the drawer - their register would’ve been over, since I paid more) and, receipt in hand, I say, “well, can I have my cheese now?”

Manager: “I gave it to her.”

Me: “Ok…can I have mine?”

Manager: “I gave it to her. She didn’t pay for it. Get it from her.”

Me: “You want me to go up to someone else, take food that they’ve already eaten from when you gave it to them, instead of giving me a little cup of cheese that I paid for?”

Manager: …

Me: …

Manager: …

Me: “Can I have my cheese, please?”

Manager: “OMG. It’s not a big deal!”

Me: “Then why won’t you give me my cheese?”

Manager: …

Me: “Well, then I want my money back. I’m not donating money to people who don’t deserve it.”

And then she yells to the back that she needs a cheese, gets it and basically tosses it across the counter at me. 

Me: “If this is that big of an issue for you, I’d be more than happy to call your manager.”

Manager: “I gave you free cheese, ok?”

Me: “No, you gave me cheese I paid for. If you’re unhappy you gave free cheese away, go take it up with my friend.” 

Manager: “You don’t have to be a bitch.”

Me: “Well, apparently I do, because that’s all you understand.”

And then I got the phone number for her store manager.*

THEN, after I sat back down, A tells me what had transpired between the manager and her earlier. Thanks, buddy, for the timely message.

I really hope being the cheesescrooge was worth it to her.

*Really, people. I am NOT AFRAID to go to managers or supervisors for good OR bad. Don’t fuck with me.